Thursday, January 12, 2012

If Dark Souls Had Mods...

It seems a lot of people out there really want a PC port of Dark Souls. The idea has merit, particularly with regards to potentially improving frame rate issues in places. Talk about possibly doing Skyrim style modding has me less excited though. Don't get me wrong Skyrim has some great mods it's just that the most banal stuff tends to be the most popular. So, for kicks I decided to make a hypothetical list of the most popular mods for a PC version of Dark Souls:

  • "Perky Nipples" mod for Quelaag and her sister.
  • "No Helmets" mod for Siegmeyer, Seiglinde, Ingward, Shiva of the East, and Maneater Mildred.
  • An obligatory "Lightsaber and Giant Purple Dildo Weapon" mod.
  • An "Anime and J-Pop Hair Set" mod for character creation.
  • A "Bust Size Slider" mod for Gwynevere. Note that the smallest setting is original size.
  • ...and of course the number one most popular mod would be an online hack that griefers use to invade you even when your in hollow form. Let's call it the "Middle Digit Red Orb."

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